The predicament. (Life After O's 6)

I tend to ramble on about my choices, if you've noticed in my past posts. It seems like I've made a fair, if not extreme, share of bad decisions that all led up to my life today. I want to belive the classic pokemon quote from the trainers Nugget Bridge above Cerulean city ~ "I did my best, I have no regrets!"

Sadly, I've built up a life of many, many regrets. 

For me, it has always been down to the final choice. Each wrong move I make, out of laziness or shyness, seems to form an unending chain of regret.  I don't know what consequences await me behind my choices, but at each moment I would feel a justifyable urge to choose the WORST possible decision. Maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's the same for everyone.

Either way, I'd wish there was a helping hand, one that would tell me which decision would, in the long run, turn out to have positive consequences. But even if there would be, I wonder if I would listen.

There are two conflicting voices in my head, arguing over which choice is best. Each has a valid argument, but neither has the foresight of the future. 

Yesterday, I realised that my decisions last year have denied me of a significant milestone. I cringed at the sight of others who, at that moment,  i felt, were walking over me, as they always do. But this time, more condescendingly, mocking me.

Today I stare at my endless mess of homework, wondering if I made the right choice.